What would you do if your friend asked you and your husband to accompany them and their wife to a ball? Ooh what a lovely invite, a chance to dress up in your finest, to shake the dust off your finest undergarments and sashay around for a few hours in the fanciest frock you can find in the darkest recesses of your wardrobe - in the section marked 'Bought for loads of money years ago and yet to be worn' (yeah I bet most of you have one of those too). Now what if your friend said it was a special type of ball for a select group of people and their friends and families? Intriguing! How would you react if your friend, who happened to be male, said it was a transgender ball and that he was going as his female alter ego? Oh lordy!
For quite a lot of people this last bit of information may have been the deal breaker, the undies would have been put back in the drawer (or loft if you're scared your mum may find them during one of her routine 'just looking for the remote' searches) and the dress stuffed back into the wardrobe where it hopes it won't be another 7 years before it sees the light of day!
However JB and I have known about our friend's alternative personality for a while now so we were up for a well earned night out regardless of gender identity, sexuality or political influences (however I will stop at TOWIE enthusiasts!). From the point of invite I was curious about the transgender world, I am a generally curious person any way, and the following questions kept popping into my head:
1) What am I to expect?: Mechanic types in skirts and flaming queens maybe.
2) What do I say? Maybe saying nothing at all will stop my mouth from insulting an entire society of people already anxious about how the general public may view them.
3) What if I accidentally get hideously drunk and do something to upset my friends?
The one thing I did not worry about was whether I would feel uncomfortable mingling in a world that at that point in time was so unfamiliar to myself. My friend had been open about 'Abi' not long after we became friends and welcomed any questions. I therefore felt prepared enough not to be uncomfortable. If I had have been I wouldn't have gone. I had been introduced to Abi some time before the ball and was quite amazed by the transition. Overall the ball was an experience I welcomed.
So the night arrives and we make our way to one of the transgender social events of the year .. 'The Enigma Ball' with JB and I firing off a few last minute questions to get us in the spirit of things to come. We arrived at this amazing building and was met by friendly people and a free glass of sparkly loveliness. The first thing that I noticed was the dazzling display of colourful dresses. Most of the dresses were obviously bespoke as I had never seen anything like them before. My favourite of the night was the aqua green peacock inspired creation worn by one of the ladies. In addition to this there were elegant 'dinner with the ships captain' gowns' (as I call them) and this-seasons-fashion ensembles. Abi had opted for a pop art baby doll print dress with (in my opinion) chic Japanese style accessories and she looked fantastic.
The four of us grabbed another glass of something refreshing and made away around the rooms. I was introduced to Abi's friends and met the team from Femesque who help transform men into the women they feel they really are. The ball had a swing band called the SwingSmiths who were really awesome. Swing is possibly one of the few music genres that has not featured in my dancing past so this night was a new experience in many ways! I posed for pictures, made conversation with quite a few people and laughed with many. It became quickly apparent to me that there was nothing unnatural about this night, about this way of life. The experience was better than I expected and I had expected a good standard initially. I had the fortune to meet many interesting people such as Roxy, Alice and Brianna as well as many more whose names have been lost in a haze of loud music and the effects of free flowing happyjuice (to those whose names escape me at the moment I apologise profusely). I would have loved to have taken may pictures of the night to place on my blog but after thinking about it for a bit and out of respect for those who are not as open about being transgender as my friend is (and how public the internet is) I decided against it. Instead you may see a picture of the fabulous 'Me' in my 7 year old never been worn before dress (so old it's probably back in fashion!)
Some of the ladies were accompanied by their wives, some by their husbands, some came with friends and some came on their own. Some of the ladies, like my friend, were open about their female side to friends and family and I met a few wives and partners who were happy to tell me about their lives inside and outside the transgender world. One lady gave me the impression that the desire she had to be a woman was a secret no one in her family knew about. There were even some women there dressed as their male persona. Every account was different and I began to understand that there is no accurate definition to describe what being transgender actually is. The descriptions I had researched online explained it in black and white terms, but at the ball the picture was a lot more colourful.
The night came to a close too soon and before I knew it I was back in the car on the way home. I remember falling asleep just as we stopped for a post party Maccy-D's. The morning after a very wobbly me gave an account of the night to my parents. I commented on how feminine and elegant all the ladies were, which according to my mum and JB was far more elegant than your beloved Joolz was when I rolled up to the front door at 2am clutching one shoe and a burger box (which I was convinced was the other shoe) like chav city's version of Cinderella !! (Oh dear and in front of the parents too - eek!)
So to sign off on this experience I shall say that I am very grateful to my friends for letting JB and I into their world. There was nothing bad to report and I feel I am richer for the experience. JB's contribution to this blog is "a fun and interesting evening full of friendly people" and I agree wholeheartedly.
With deep respect, Joolz x
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